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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What I want to be when I grow up

For some people it's cloudsImage by NyOkieSue via Flickr

It's always been so much easier for me to determine what I didn't want to be when I grew up-and trust me--I'm none of those things. But here I am taking several career interest tests mid life. They all come up with business and management as number one, with art (creative writing,visual and performing), marketing, and entrepreneur in some order closely following. Yes, I'm an independent leader with right brained tendencies as well. But for what business? What shall I market?

My problem is I've always liked too many things. I also have stage fright beyond what's acceptable. And yes, no one knows it as they think I am the most confident straight-forward Amazon they have met thus far along their adventure of life.

Maybe I should open a art supply store, or sell more of my arts and crafts along with consignments from other crafters.

When I make up mind, as I seem to do every other week, I somehow "see it through" in my mind's eye----straight through to disaster. Now, why venture into something with that sort of end result?

So I'm currently(still) in as entry level type position in Health care and quite good at it. And quite .......not satisfied. Ok, and my back is killing me lol.

I'm overall happy. Happy and broke. I'd like to simply volunteer at what I do and be in the position financially to do so. So perhaps it's a money or security thing as well that is driving me to take a leap.

Maybe we should all just place a deadline on our goals or decisions. If we can't make up our minds, just pick one and suffer. Or change routes at a further point. But how far is far enough? When do we have the right to change out minds--our careers--our priorities? What if it just never feels right? Do we go for our ideals? That could be quite dangerous; at least for me. Why, I'd be selling sea shells by the seashore by now. Or maybe even beaded necklaces under a bridge.

I need to find a better career test. One that leads to the discovery of my heart's desire. If I put everything together thus far--I'm a bossy, nurturing, creative, advertising artist who loves to write and prefers to be independent. No wonder I'm struggling with direction.

What I wanted to be when I grew up.....I guess I just wanted to be.
I be.

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