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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Year for Reunions

I just love it when I hear of new birth family reunions. I just read a blog entry on of two sisters reuniting using . At one point, I was looking for five siblings and a grave for my mother--father unknown. That was due to bogus information from my official nonidinfo from NY state. Instead, I found my birth mom, dad and a cool as can be sister. But thru my original search, however, I learned how difficult sibling searches can be. With bogus info, sealed records, and how DNA tests are with siblings--it can seem impossible. It's not impossible though. :-)

What's weird is when I began reading the post I automatically thought of my neighbor friend Suzy Z. as she was born in 65 and was adopted thru catholic charities. I wonder what ever happened to her. Married names on top of adopted names can make a search more difficult unless you throw out the concept of names and start looking into those gut feelings and "coincidences" --it worked for us. :-)

Have a good weekend.

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Foggy Dreams-Excerpt

sketchImage by NyOkieSue via Flickr

She entered the world somehow, sometime during Autumn. Thirty-six years later, she learned of the details, told to her in hopes of filling in the gaps. Mom wanted the best life for her; better than what she felt at the time, she could provide her with as a young unwed mother in the 60's. Little did she know, the best part of Angela's life would be their reunion.

Uncertain Foggy Dreams

The tan carpet pile began to get smaller as she rose to her feet almost erect. It grew as she began to lose her balance once again. Finally, she was standing erect though a little wobbly. There were sounds in the background as though to cheer for her.

Lucy ran with two little boys to greet a balding man in an overcoat with deep pockets. He was familiar to her, perhaps even paternal. He would say, "Oh, there could be a mouse in my pocket" as he smiled lovingly, raising his arms to allow the children to pick the candy and such from his pockets.

Two and half years and only a few memories. Strange what we recall. Then there were the dreams. Or were they memories of some movie she seen when too young to verbalize? Perhaps they were stories told around her that confused her.

Looking through the bars, Lucy was happy to see Mommy enter the room. She put her arms out as if to be picked up. Mommy wasn't smiling as she put her fingers to her lips ordering a panicked "SHHHH" as her body shook. Daddy appeared as Mommy backed up. She seemed to shrink into the corner as his back now faced Lucy. Lucy couldn't see past him. Then he turned towards Lucy exposing the view of her Mother lying in a bloody heap on the floor. Lucy knew to shrink and silence despite her young age. Instinct I suppose. He appeared over the bars blocking the light with his head. Darkness.

There were bright round lights that seem to move upward as the motion pushed her downward in a hurry. There were voices. There were beeps of what seemed to be machines and telephones. Lucy just knew there were noises and that she was in yet another environment. There was that final, stationery, hot, bright lamp; quite larger then the moving series of lights she had seen through her eyelids prior. The lamp goes out abruptly creating a cold sleep almost instantly.

"It will take some time to heal" "She may function just fine" "There will be some adjustments needed" "She will need follow up care" "Placement" Placement. Placement. All just voices in the dark.
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Saturday, June 13, 2009

Personal type update and zemanta link test.

HPIM0231Image by NyOkieSue via Flickr

I haven't written much else on Adoption/Birthfamily reunions since my earliest posts. My Birth mom is doing great and is working on her new site. She is an extremely talented author. Seems like an important part of my life began when I met her..again ;-) ( I was 36 years old). She is also a water color artist and creates beautiful images. We made her a great grandmother a few years ago!

Things are great with my birth Dad also. He is enjoying a nature filled life in Arizona and takes the most beautiful photos. He is retired and remains very active and healthy.

I'm using this zemanta thing for firefox in hopes of pulling some new links that I haven't already mentioned for Adoptees and birth-family reunions. Nothing to grand so far, but perhaps as time goes on zemanta will add more sites to link to. Also it would be nice if you could post more pics directly through there service like the one above. Of course there is nothing to stop you from using normal methods of posting.

I'm going to go thru old posts and see if I re-edit them if the zemanta can help with additional links. I see a lot of definition type links but we, of course, are after new adoption-Adoptee-Birth family- type information.

Happy Searching and Have the best of luck!

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What I want to be when I grow up

For some people it's cloudsImage by NyOkieSue via Flickr

It's always been so much easier for me to determine what I didn't want to be when I grew up-and trust me--I'm none of those things. But here I am taking several career interest tests mid life. They all come up with business and management as number one, with art (creative writing,visual and performing), marketing, and entrepreneur in some order closely following. Yes, I'm an independent leader with right brained tendencies as well. But for what business? What shall I market?

My problem is I've always liked too many things. I also have stage fright beyond what's acceptable. And yes, no one knows it as they think I am the most confident straight-forward Amazon they have met thus far along their adventure of life.

Maybe I should open a art supply store, or sell more of my arts and crafts along with consignments from other crafters.

When I make up mind, as I seem to do every other week, I somehow "see it through" in my mind's eye----straight through to disaster. Now, why venture into something with that sort of end result?

So I'm currently(still) in as entry level type position in Health care and quite good at it. And quite .......not satisfied. Ok, and my back is killing me lol.

I'm overall happy. Happy and broke. I'd like to simply volunteer at what I do and be in the position financially to do so. So perhaps it's a money or security thing as well that is driving me to take a leap.

Maybe we should all just place a deadline on our goals or decisions. If we can't make up our minds, just pick one and suffer. Or change routes at a further point. But how far is far enough? When do we have the right to change out minds--our careers--our priorities? What if it just never feels right? Do we go for our ideals? That could be quite dangerous; at least for me. Why, I'd be selling sea shells by the seashore by now. Or maybe even beaded necklaces under a bridge.

I need to find a better career test. One that leads to the discovery of my heart's desire. If I put everything together thus far--I'm a bossy, nurturing, creative, advertising artist who loves to write and prefers to be independent. No wonder I'm struggling with direction.

What I wanted to be when I grew up.....I guess I just wanted to be.
I be.

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