The house again...I was in charge of my dream of course, like I always am when I dream, I witness things and change what doesn't look right. I resist the urge to steer away from the truth. The Truth. Where is that? I look in my dream. The soil. I was hoping to find that soil that belonged to me. The familiar. But instead I found a path. One I broke away from (or was torn away from). A broken path. I wasn't sure to go back to where it started or run on ahead to see where it had left off. The bird's eye view was no longer there for me to see. But I learned something. I was a traveler and so were my people. I think I really did have people. I think we were on a journey. One that stopped short. I don't think I was meant to be held up. Unfortunately I was thrown off course and put somewhere I couldn't resume anything. Where I no longer even knew the purpose nor could learn it......I woke up enough to roll over and relieve the pain in my back and neck. Was I little gypsy child? Was I a hippy's baby? Was there a tragedy? Were we fleeing for our lives? Is that why my siblings are not looking for me? Did we represent more than what my infant self could comprehend? Did I spell out that much trouble for all involved?
I know when I emailed the agency that handled my adoption when they replied for me to go to hell basically they made it a point to send a copy of it to GUY WARNER director of VS in NY. Is mine but a flagged case? Did he need to be alerted that the pain in the ass ORPHAN is at it again? I'm at it again. I won't quit this time. I want to know my Birth Right. My heritage. I want to own my soil. I want to Know has now become I will know. I think I already do know. I think I'll dream again tonight. I'll know.