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Friday, February 25, 2005

How it all began.......

Author: Dory MartinImage via Wikipedia

Well...............I got the refund and i had to make some decisions that i carefully wieghed out with the kids. And the winner is...........a home computer. Kids homework and research, and me---I'd search for my birthfamily. I had been to the library twice up until then but there wasnt enough time to learn how to use the computer alone much less do some effective searching. So we made the big purchase after studying eveything such as price and needs of this machine. This was in the year 2001 btw. I worked 8 hours a day and stole some time when the kids were asleep to get online. It was my quest......my journey ......my adventure. I learned enough to keep my computer virus and worm (and all those other new terms i learned) free. Of course I discovered chat somewheres along in there and boy did that first IM scare and excite me at the same time. I looked to the left and I looked to the right-------then i said "hi" and quickly hit send as though it would blow up the universe. I was hooked there for a little bit ( ha ha). I always had a little window open on the side while i searched from that point on. I met a LIAR from one of the chats. Imagine that? But we wont get into that right now (I met him for 5 minutes in a public parking lot- right before i became a big cloud of dust before his eyes- as i sped off) .....................................So there i was, cigs and coffee and black computer eyes from sleep deprivation . I searched hundreds of adoption registries with thousands of entries. I was armed only with my BOGUS non id info from the state of ny vital statistics and an amended birth certificate with the wrong time and weight on it. But something kept bringing me back to this one fellow searcher. But of course she was looking for a child and i was looking for siblings. (as were so many others born in ny around my time) And of course my birthmom was dead and 35 when she had me. In fact i was the youngest of five siblings. Wow i was just like my youngest daughter in order born==what a coincidence. Me and this woman tried to help each other ..thru millions of correspondence ( you tend to help many others in your own independant search as you sometimes see matches for others) we kept in touch. We had so much in common --------well of course we did. She is where i got alot of my traits from.............She is my birthmother . I was her first child. She was young when she had me. The only sibling i have was born years AFTER me. They werent counting on DNA back in the 60's when they denied everyone the birthright to their heritage. They claim the lies signed and notorized were to protect the people involved in the triad of adoption. But when its a mutual search with the support of the adoptive parents as well --with all adults involved------WHO IS IT PROTECTING? The state registry could have released a confirmation of mutual search and match but didnt. THE ONLY PEOPLE SEALED RECORDS supports are the people involved in lies, kidnapping, blackmarket, greymarket and/or other horrible things that are common with sealed records. Thru my search i had to see where peoples search posts were no more.......they died waiting for a confirmation of match due to needing blood relatives for transplants etc. Most cases the birthfamily was eagerly searching just as hard as they were ..........but were too late.........
My mom is totally awesome --so smart, intuitive, creative beyond belief, and caring. My lil sister has got to be the coolest sister that ever walked the face of the earth. I only wished we could have walked in the same places sooner. Everything happens for a reason though. I guess i'm the one who populated the family lol. I met my dad thru all of this ............there was a sweet love story there for him and my mom waaaaaaaaay back then. But they both moved on ---and kept in touch just in hopes of getting the news on "the baby" ;0)
I talked to dad twice on the phone as he told me about my aunts and uncles and medical history etc. He met a "great lady" and moved away and i never got those photos he promised nor did i ever hear from him again.
It took years to admit i wanted to know my birthheritage and a few more to start my search. But it only took 6 months on the internet to find them.................................... Gotta love this machine.


So back to this Blog thing......................I'll figure it out real soon--------
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1 comment:

Iris Cole-Hayworth said...

My Sister Angela "Sue" Marie,
I cried for you so many times…
When Mom thought that I was old enough to know about you and learn of her search for you I was so excited to have a Sister. Words cannot explain how my heart broke when I learned of your pain. I had always dreamed of you having a wonderful life? How could this be that you weren't adopted right away and that you felt rejected for so long when all that my Mother wanted was you? Damn them and the power they process to have lied to you and us for so long. They are not God. You are the only older Sister I’ve got, and I feel robbed by these lies. You were 15 and on your own, and we found you! We could have known you. We could have been there for you. What gives them the right to control us like this? Well, thank God for the internet and the drive we always pocessed to find you. A miracle occured when we found eachother. Against all odds, we did it.
Love you.....Iris